“Grasping onto the extrinsic appearance of things, we expect to be satisfied in a complete way. We look to union or merger as the antidote to our suffering. But this kind of satisfaction is impossible because the qualities that we project onto the desired object –of permanence, stability or “thingness” — do not really exist. As a result, we are inevitably disappointed. The disparity between the way we perceive things and the way they actually are is at the root of our struggle with desire. Once we learn how to make that disparity part of our experience, however, desire can be a teacher rather than an affliction. We can open to it more when we stop fighting with the way it disappoint us.
Desire, in this way, becomes its own yoga.
In order to feel better, we must learn how to go within.
This feminine desire is not for penetration but for space. The space that is longed for is not just a space within…. but is also for a space that is without: a space between individuals that makes room for individuality of both parties and for meetings at the edge. It is a space that permits discovery of one’s own voice.”